Revelations
by elfmaiden4legs
Summary: One of the first 'Lost' stories I ever wrote. This is now about 5 years old so forgive my more basic writing style! Locke reveals all about his condition in the aftermath of Boone's death! Jack reconciles with him!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Locke leans above the hatch, screams, cries. Pain and grief pulsate through his body. He knows Boone will die. He knows that it will all be his fault. The others will blame him and hate him for it. How can he ever be whole? How can he ever regain any dignity he lost?

"I've done everything you anted me to do. So why did you do this? Why?"

A light comes on inside the hatch.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Locke finds himself back at the beach. He knows Boone is dead now, that Jack couldn't save him. He's wandered the jungle for hours, exhausted and in pain. He stumbles but manages to convince himself that it's just dehydration and fatigue. His legs and back throb and shake as the islands fever makes itself known to him.

He approaches where the other survivors have gathered to bury Boone. He tries to explain in a blur of pain and fuzzy headedness what happened… that he tried to save Boone, Boone died a hero.

"Where were you?" Jack interrogates him, but he can't give an answer. They would think him weak, yes weak, too weak, just as everybody else he had encountered over the last four years, and he wants none of it no more.

Jack tackles him. As Locke hits the ground pain surges like a knife up his back. He winces and bares his teeth as the throbbing starts up again but everybody is too busy restraining Jack to recognise his pain.

Jack is off him now but he doesn't dare attempt to get up in case he can't. He can't allow them to see his weakness. Then Jack collapses, fatigue finally got the better of him, but this provides the perfect diversion for Locke who takes all the time he needs to stagger to his feet as Jack is helped away.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Locke has found his way to the comfort and darkness of the caves. He needs to wash the blood from his shirt but he just wants to sleep. He knows Jack will be alright. He has heard Kate has given him something to sleep and he can't help but wish she could give him something. Walt walks past and he smiles and waves, but Walt just carries on walking. Everybody has turned against him now.

He feels the presence of someone beside him… Sayid. He wants to know what really happened and suddenly Locke feels better. The daze has passed, but worst is to come. Sayid has noticed his scare.

"What's that?"

"Old war wound."

"Looks more like a surgical scare."

"As I said old war wound."

"Was it true what you old Jack?"

"About what?"

"About Boone."

Locke sighs, why won't anybody believe him? "Yes."

"Then why didn't you tell Jack the truth? Why didn't you stick around the night you brought Boone back?"

"Because… I was scared."

"Scared?"

"Boone died because I made a mistake. I was injured and confused, Boone died because of me."

Suddenly Locke's eyes go funny and his head begins to spin. He flicks his head to stem the fuzziness but this only does more to awaken Sayid to his plight.

"What did you last drink?"

Locke says nothing.

"Sleep? Look John you're not doing yourself any favours, I know there is more to this than you're letting on, But I am prepared to believe you that Boone's death was an accident…"

Sayid cut off when he noticed Locke was crying. He didn't know what to say, how to comfort him.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He cries.

"John?"

"Boone was the only one who knew. He wanted to return after I collapsed the first time, he wanted to bring me back to Jack. If I had only listened to him none of this would have happened."

"You collapsed? Boone was the only one who know what?" Sayid asked. He was scared and shocked. Locke needed help not punishment he had sensed that but now he was beginning to think that the kind of help Locke needed was beyond his expertise.

"I'm tired."

"Knew what John?"

A numbing sensation of pins and needles shit through Locke's legs and he knew it was the islands sign it was time for the truth.

"Before the crash I was a paraplegic."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Kate, Kate." Sayid cried as he runs through the camp looking for her.

"Dude, you ok?" Asks a bemused Hurley.

"Kate, where is Kate?"

"Down at the beach I think, but…"

"Locke is sick ok? I need someone to sit with him until I get back, he can't be allowed to get up or move around too much."

As he said this Sayid realised how ridiculous this must sound. Locke had been moving, walking and running ever since they landed on the island, surely any damage now had already been done. But he was no doctor and knew nothing of Locke's condition. Suddenly he caught sight of Walt sitting alone by the campfire.

"Walt!" He shouted, the boy looked up.

"What?"

"It's John Locke…"

"I don't want to know."

"Please Walt… I need you to go with Hurley now and…"

"Why?"

"He's sick, very maybe… look I know you're not on the best of terms at the moment but whatever anybody else thinks of him don't let it get in the way of what the two of you have. He needs you…"

"Ok," Walt grudgingly gets to his feet, "What do I need to do?"

"Be gentle with him, don't mention any of what's happened today, back up anything that Hurley says…"

"Right…"

"And above all, don't mention Boone."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"Kate, Kate?" Sayid had made it to the beach.

"She's in there." Sawyer pointed to a tent across the beach.

Sayid nodded his thanks and walked off. He still didn't entirely trust Sawyer even though he seemed to have been making more of an effort lately to fit in.

"Kate?" He stood outside the tent and waited for a response.

"You know you can come in if you want."

As Sayid entered he saw Jack asleep in the corner, Kate was leaning over him, but Sayid had no time for subtitles.

"Kate do you have anymore of that stuff you gave to Jack earlier?"

"Yes, there's a little left, why?"

"I need it. There's no time to explain now I need to get back up to the caves. Will you come with me? And I'll explain on the way."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

When Sayid and Kate got to the caves Hurley had managed to get Locke into a lying position and Sayid noticed that Walt was kneeling down beside him and holding his hand as the two talked and laughed, and he smiled.

Kate had been quite taken aback by how tired Locke looked. His pain was also evident even below the smile he put on for Walt.

"Here." She wasted no time in administering Locke the drug. Sayid bent down and helped Locke into a sitting position.

"What is it?" He asked.

"It'll help." Kate replied and helped him drink down the rest of the formula. "There." She said soothingly after he had finished.

"Now what do we do?" Asked Hurley.

"We wait until he's asleep and then we carry him back to the beach. He should be more comfortable there." Kate replied.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

It didn't take long for the drug to take effect. After a matter of minutes Locke was sleeping peacefully and the group were ready to carry him back to camp.

By the time the group reached the beach it was getting dark and Jack was now awake and emerging from the tent, all be it groggily. But there was no denying he looked a lot better. Sawyer approached them at the sight of the unconscious Locke, his genuine concern hidden behind his cocky and sarcastic exterior.

"What happened to him?"

"Jack!" Kate yelled.

"Hey doc…" Sawyer joined in.

Jack noticed the small group and made a run for them. At the sight of John Locke he almost turned away, but something within him made him stay.

"What happened?" He asked half heartedly but the urgency in his voice beginning to show.

"He's sick." Said Sayid. "Listen… he revealed something to me whilst we were back at the caves. The day Boone was crushed he collapsed. Boone wanted to bring him back then but he refused. There are scars on his back and side, and he told me that before the crash he was a paraplegic."

Realisation suddenly dawned on Jack. "The wheelchair in the wreckage… When did he go unconscious?"

"Kate drugged him." Sayid said. "I thought it might be easier on him."

"Right, put him down here." Jack said. "Let's take a look at these scars."

He lifted up the back of Locke's T-Shirt to get a better look. "Yeah, they're nasty, how did you say he said he got them?"

"I didn't, but he told me they were old war wounds."

"And what do you think?"

"They look more surgical to me."

"You're right. See this one…" He pointed to the one on his side. "He's had a kidney removed, but whether as a patient or as a donor I won't be able to tell until he wakes up, and this one is definitely spinal." Jack pressed down on the wound and felt his way up Locke's back. Locke began to whimper.

"Locke?" Jack asked. "Does that hurt Locke?" But Locke did not reply. "If that hurts squeeze my hand." Jack said, leaning over to give Locke his hand. Locke squeezed it.

"I thought you said you drugged him?" Jack asked Kate.

"There wasn't a lot of the formula left." She replied.

"Can you make some more?" Jack asked. "It would be easier for me to take a look at him if he was asleep. That way I don't have to think about hurting him, and he can't protest if I do."

"It's too late now, I need time to find the ingredients…"

"You mean it wasn't just sleeping pills in that bowl?"

"I added something to it, herbal, I learnt it from my father…"

"Yeah… alright… I get the point… well I suppose we had better settle him in for the night."

Jack went to try and move Locke, but he protested.

"No, no, just let me stay here."

Jack faltered… it was cold and going to get colder as the evening drew on, he would be happier if he could get Locke under the cover of some sort of shelter, but on the other hand Locke looked exhausted.

Jack just nodded his approval and made his way up the beach towards the main part of the wreckage to gather blankets and cushions to try and make Locke a little warmer and more comfortable. Sayid ran to keep up with him.

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"I have a better idea."

Jack turned around to glance at him with a questioning look.

"The French woman…"

"What about her?"

"She has sedatives…"

"What?"

"She has sedatives… now if I could find her… track her down I mean…"

"No, that's not an option!"

"But…"

"Sayid, she could be anywhere on the island by now and we don't even know who this woman is. It won't be doing Locke any favours for us to go gallivanting off all over the island in all directions, getting ourselves lost. We'll settle him down for the night and then wait for the morning…"

"But…"

"That's final!"


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Jack stayed out with Locke all night, but by the morning he'd been relieved that the other man appeared very much recovered from his ordeal the night before.

Despite Sayid's earlier insistence the young doctor had been assured that Locke was no longer in need of sedation. He'd slept peacefully, and much of the colour had already started to return to his cheeks and face, as well as his usual demeanour. Although he reluctantly started to open up to Jack, the two building bridges and repairing broken ones, as he had spent much of the following morning talking, and Jack, like the good doctor he was, and listened.

By the time Locke had finally given his explanation, Jack had seen the remorse for Boone's death in the other mans eyes. It had all been just a terrible accident, which could have been prevented had Locke swallowed his pride, although when he's finished Jack had smiled and asked him if he felt up to taking a walk… as much to observe how steady he was now on his feet than to engage him in further, and more private conversation.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Jack asked, once he was assured that Locke's condition was indeed stable, and not as serious as they had at first thought.

"I guess I was scarred…" Locke admitted finally, after a long and faltering thought, "and proud… I've been judged before… and I don't like being told what I can't do. This was supposed to be a new start."

Jack nodded.

"Well, the truth is Locke there's not a great deal I can do for you anyway for the moment, but I'll can keep an eye on you for now… if only you'd come to me a few days ago…"

"I know…" Locke nodded.

"I guess we still don't know very much about each other on this island, do we?" Jack mused. "I'm sorry Locke…"

"I'm sorry to Jack." Locke sighed. "I'm sorry to!"


End file.
